The Mt. Holly Register is the official mouthpiece of the city of Mt. Holly, MN (pop. 1) and a tax loophole of the La Mano Rendering Facility.

Mayor: Mike Haeg, (absentee) Ungabunga (actual)

Population: 1

The entire fiscal income of Mt. Holly, MN is derived from the creation of art and advertising.

22 March, 2006 edition  

The Mt. Holly Mash Pole - ongoing.
Mt. Holly exists at 44.7960 Degrees North Latitude / 93.5259 Degrees West Longitude. How far is it to your home, barbershop, or summerplace? Figure out the distance and direction from Mt. Holly to your life and put them on an arrow pointing in the right direction and send it to me. I will send you an arrow in return. 305 Holmes St. Mt. Holly, MN 55379. Please allow 3-4 weeks for completion..

New Writers Sought
I admit it this issue of the register is t he worst one yet. Think you can fill my shoes? Download the GUEST WRITER APPLICATION and find out. Email completed application to the editor.


Mt. Holly Citizens Praise The Performance of Wooden Idol.

His name is Ungabunga. He stands just under 5 feet tall. He never blinks, moves, or complains. But this surrogate leader is outperforming absentee mayor, Michael Haeg.

Upon his departure, Haeg, who is currently in California plotting the city limits of West Mt. Holly, forbade the worship of false mayors.

Recently acknowledged citizen, Tammy Dahlke (photographed below at her swearing in ceremony and equally excited by the discovery of olde tyme cellar doors that were either granted by Ungabunga or just not noticed by Dahlke until recently) is pleased with her stoic new ruler.

"The old Mayor used to promise us the world and start projects, only to abandon them mid-completion," recalls Dahlke. "While Ungabunga hasn't finished any of these projects, he's never made any claims that would lead one to believe that he would, which is refreshing. Plus Ungabunga is not drunk all the time."

Could this signal a change in American politics? A system of officials, not elected, but hewn from exotic wood. Have our citizenry become so disefranchised as to want tocreate their own leaders who will acomplish little and promise less?
This reporter for one, knocks wood. - Haeg

Philatelic Collectors mail to: 305 Holmes St • Mt. Holly, MN 55379a - all postcards answered by Mt. Holly postmaster & outlaw professional wrestler, the Mysterion. ......©2005, La Mano 21