The Mt. Holly Register is the official mouthpiece of the city of Mt. Holly, MN (pop. 1) and a tax loophole of the La Mano Rendering Facility.

Mayor: Mike Haeg

Population: 1

The entire fiscal income of Mt. Holly, MN is derived from the creation of art and advertising.

7 January, 2006 edition  

The 'i kissed a stranger'
The Month of February, of course.

10 packs of 10 "i kissed a stranger" buttons to be distributed to 10 people. Their mission is to take a button, kiss a willing stranger, and pass the bag to said stranger. Said stranger, in turn, takes a button, must kiss a willing stranger, and pass the bag on until all of the buttons are gone. If you want in, let me know. You will remain anonymous (unless your stranger becomes a friend). Limited to the first 10 requestors [here]. ONLY 3 REMAINING!

Archeological Dig Uncovers The Origin of The Prank Phone Call – The call was sent from just shy of 2000 feet below the surface of Mt. Holly, MN's agricultural prefecture. "Do you have pigs feet?" This was the signal that the graduate students picking, shoveling, and sifting deep in the mine may have found evidence that prehistoric man may have made prank phone calls from this region.

Youngsters still enjoy the-oldest-gag-in-the-book after 160,000 years

Hole validates scientist's life work. Employee's of the Lot's Wife Salt Concern notified Haeg in 2001 when their mining operation exposed the remnants of a man with an apelike skull, plastered with a lecherous sneer. [A] These remains turned out to be those of a pre-cambrian jokester, Demi-Resperatum, or heavy breather – a rare find, but nowhere near as old or rare as the Gloucester Up-Hanger, discovered in Great Britain in 1986.

Five years and 950 feet later [B], Haeg and his team unearthed the remains of an adolescent male near a fossilized log drum, man's oldest form of long-distance communication. Calcification of one knee bone from repeated slapping and significant splitting of the ribs verifys that this was indead the oldest known proto-homonid prankster.

Haeg is collecting prank calls for his book about the history of prank calls, titled How Long Has Your Refridgerator Been Running? To add your favorite to his book, prank 612-735-1553.

Philatelic Collectors mail to: 305 Holmes St • Mt. Holly, MN 55379a - all postcards answered by Mt. Holly postmaster & outlaw professional wrestler, the Mysterion. ......©2005, La Mano 21